Guestbook

When you came into our home I knew instantly you were part of our family by the way Mom looked at you. You were so playful, so full of love to give and not to mention extra fluffy. You meshed perfectly into the empty part of our home.

I'll never know why the incident happened but I know that it never made me feel any differently about you. I didn't ask to keep you just because I knew no one else would help you the way we did, I asked to keep you because you'd already made home in all of our hearts and you couldn't be defined by that one off moment (despite there had been.. other moments later on). And I know you regretted it as soon as it happened, we both paused and looked at each other before I pushed you off and called for Mom. You stayed by my side after I got home for weeks until I fully recovered trying to make it up to me, guarding me, kissing my hands and holding them. And you have made it up to me tenfold by being my sweet bubby, helping me take out the trash, puppy sandwiches with you and Cago, protecting the house, always being playful and careful. And you know honestly I can appreciate wanting to leave your mark on the world, Arnold also did this to me before he passed but I just think you left enough mark on our hearts already.

You brought that childlike wonder back to us especially when it comes to the seasons changing. Hot, cold, rain or shine you wanted to be outside. In the spring we get a little muddy or drizzled on. In the summer we play in the pool with all your toys and the hose. In the fall we play in the leaves and in the winter we dig in the snow together and have snowball fights. Each season unique and you all the same, ready to play. And you know most dogs just play fetch, maybe a little tug of war as well but you, you did it all. And my favorite to play with you was soccer. Probably because I usually would have to wait 10 minutes for the ball back if we were playing anything else you friggin ball hog. And sometimes we'd even play it in your room late at night very quietly mueheheh. You'd even get a little rile out of Chicago once in a while despite her not being able to run the same anymore. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Just so you know when you find Lilo... I think she's gonna have some words for you.. But she'll love you the same as us. Just whip you into a little more shape you know? I love you so much, my sweet bubby. Roll around in the grass with my girls for me <3

We found you on a dark, stormy, rain-soaked night in the middle of the city.

The streets were slick, the headlights were cutting through the rain, and then suddenly there you were, running right out in front of the car like you had been sent there for us to find. I jumped out without thinking and scooped you up, and that was it. There was no discussion, no hesitation, no question about what came next.

You were coming home.

You were already about a year old when we found you, already fully yourself, already Chicago. And somehow, from that first night, it felt like you had always belonged to us and we had just been late in realizing it.

You were the most beautiful dog I have ever seen. People say that about their dogs because they love them, but with you, it was simply true. You knew it, too. You carried yourself like a lady, folding your paws so perfectly, sitting like you were posing for a portrait. You had elegance, attitude, sweetness, and just enough drama to make sure nobody forgot who the star of the house was.

You tap danced into rooms. You DJ’d the soundtrack of our years. Your tail told the truth before anything else could. It was like your heartbeat lived in it, always wagging, always full of joy, always reminding us that happiness could still exist in the middle of ordinary days.

You demanded table food, and you got it, because honestly, what kind of monster says no to those eyes? French fries were basically your property. We were all just holding them temporarily. The ladies’ dinners will never feel the same without you under the table, waiting patiently and confidently for what you knew was yours. That empty space at our feet is going to feel louder than anything for a long time.

You loved your brother in a way I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to fully understand. You waited up for me every night. You made sure the house was locked down before you let yourself rest. You protected us, watched over us, and cared for us in quiet ways we probably didn’t even notice enough while you were here.

And I need you to know something.

I loved you.

I know some people may have thought I didn’t show it enough. I won’t mention names, because apparently even grief has to have manners. But I loved you with all of my heart. I always tried to make sure you had what you needed. I hope you felt that. I hope you knew that even on the quiet days, even when I didn’t say it out loud, you mattered deeply to me.

You were Keesi’s BFF. You loved Gabby fiercely and protected her with everything you had. For that, I owe you more than I could ever repay. Not with treats, not with stuffed animals, not with every french fry in the world. You gave us love that was loyal, instinctive, and pure.

Find Stitch. Find Arnold. Tell them I said hi, and tell them I miss them too.

And find my Lilo.

You would have loved her. I think you reminded me of her more than I ever said out loud. Maybe some part of me always believed she was waiting for you, and now I hope the two of you are together, running free, young again, safe again, whole again.

Thank you for coming into the road that night.

Thank you for trusting me when I scooped you up.

Thank you for becoming ours.

I love you, Chicago.